read this if you keep hearing about IFS

Although I’m not a strict adherent of Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), it is the modality I draw from most in practice because it resonates on a fundamental level. The idea of 'parts'—those inner voices that pull us in different directions—reflects a universal experience. Most people intuitively grasp the concept when they say, 'part of me feels this, while another part feels that,' and it provides a sense of being truly understood. We are all made up of these internal parts, which influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A brilliant example of this dynamic can be seen in Pixar’s Inside Out, where emotions like Joy, Anger, Sadness, Fear, and Disgust are personified, showing how our responses are often driven by one or more parts at any given time.

The IFS framework categorizes these parts into roles like 'Manager Protectors' and more extreme 'Firefighter' Protectors. Manager Protectors aim to keep us in line with societal norms and maintain our image, often using neutral, cautionary thoughts to remind us of the risks in being fully authentic—risks such as being excluded from important social groups. While their efforts are valuable, they can also create discomfort when the effort to always fit in becomes stifling.

On the more reactive end are the Firefighters, whose sole aim is to get us out of danger, often resorting to extreme measures. When we experience distress, the Firefighters kick into high gear, leading to reactions such as substance use, avoidance, or dissociation—anything to escape what feels unbearable.

At the heart of these protective mechanisms are the Exiles, the parts they work so hard to protect. Often manifesting as our 'inner child,' Exiles represent our most deeply buried emotional experiences, often rooted in early traumas or situations we couldn’t fully comprehend at the time. Neurobiology shows that the prefrontal cortex—the rational, decision-making part of the brain—goes offline during traumatic events, leaving these Exiles trapped in the past. When present-day situations trigger old wounds, these Exiles stir, prompting our protectors to act swiftly to prevent us from being overwhelmed by fragments of the past.

The inner landscape is complex, and IFS aims to bring harmony among these parts. Like any relationship, collaboration between them is key, and Inside Out captures this beautifully. The ongoing negotiation between our internal archetypes can be chaotic, frustrating, and at times humorous, but ultimately leads to greater self-understanding. I often recommend the movie to clients interested in IFS—it simplifies the concept while still capturing its depth.

In my blog post on tools, I delve into this further with an inner universe meditation/thought experiment. If you’d like to explore your parts in more depth, I’m always happy to nerd out with you!

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